Bedroom matters
Want a recipe for killing the intimacy in your relationship? Before bed, scroll through an endless stream of dopamine-pumping junk. Chat with a female friend on Messenger. Tell her what's bugging you about your relationship. Put a big TV in the bedroom and watch a show. Forget about the goodnight and good-morning kiss.
In the evening, in bed, we'd rather give each other some time. Talk, go over the day and share how we feel. Tomorrow will be a new, wonderful day, and it's good to end this one without sweeping important issues and unfinished conversations under the rug.
When we met, we agreed that sex is a really important part of our life. We both work remotely and see each other most of the day, and in a setup like that it's easy to get lazy and stop taking care of the relationship. That's why we make a habit of scheduling quality time and sex dates. A relationship is constant work on both sides.
Evening talks
Here's a little experiment. Tonight, ask:
What are the 5 things you like most about me?
Talk about it. Once you've found out, you'll almost certainly get asked:
And what are the 5 things you like about me?
It's a perfect chance to reflect, nurture what's good and appreciate the things we take for granted every day.
Another time, you can talk about what annoys you most and why. It can help you spot areas to work on.