Zip it!
Not only am I a guy, I'm an engineer too. I solve problems every day. The world often looks to me as simple as an if-else statement. Either right or left, either one or zero, even though I know it usually isn't like that at all.
I find it really hard to stop myself from automatically looking for solutions. It doesn't always work, because sometimes I'm just itching to speak up. But you know how it is! It's always easier to advise others than yourself.
Sometimes people just want to talk. They know exactly what to do, but they need to get things off their chest. Talk with them, offer a kind word. Everyone has to find their own way, in their own way.
I try not to share my opinion unless someone asks me straight out:
So what would you do in my shoes?
I know my perspective can be out of touch with reality, because each of us sees things through the lens of our own experience.
And there are people around me whom life has hit so hard that I'm not sure how I'd have coped myself. I admire and respect them for the strength with which they face everyday life.
Taking advice
If you're the one getting advice, think about who it's coming from. Taking advice from people who aren't where you'd like to be may not get you very far.
If you take advice from experts, consider whether their experience isn't too far ahead of yours. For example, someone who's 3 steps ahead of you will have more up-to-date knowledge of how to get started than someone who's 10 years ahead.
The cherry on top is advice from your parents:
- go to college
- hold on to that job
- buy an apartment with a mortgage
These are the well-known classics that put a lot of pressure on you and lead to heated arguments.
Of course they want the best for you, but their experience may no longer be relevant and their priorities changed long ago. They've become more risk-averse and look for peace and stability in life. Switch your brain on and think about what's best for you, backing it up with well-thought-out arguments.
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Maybe it's better to do something different from everyone else instead of joining the 40% who go to college? Higher education has become commonplace and is no measure of skill.
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Maybe it's better to throw yourself into online courses, learn useful things and gain real work experience in the meantime?
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Maybe it's worth taking the risk of changing jobs and doubling your income over time?
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Or maybe it's time to switch careers?
Will taking on a mortgage for decades let you keep up a fast pace of change between the ages of 20 and 30, or will it get in the way, which makes renting look like the better option?
I didn't buy any property until I was 38. I did, however, have long battles with people telling me I was paying off someone else's mortgage. I decided that while I'm young, I prefer investments with higher risk, but also higher returns.